Are You Hot?
This show is great, it really is. It does not lie to you, it does not make you watch people eat cow brains, and it does not make you listen to a bunch of celebrities whine and complain about bugs in their pants. It’s just plain ol’ sex appeal.
ABC’s “Are You Hot: The Search for America’s Sexiest People” is making its rounds across the country. The show started in the northeast and is now wrapping up in the southwest.
The way the show works is contestants have approximately ten seconds or so to strut their stuff for the judges. And all the judges have to do is sit there and simply check out whoever is in front of them and decide if the contestant is “hot or not.”
It is great! There is no messing around. If you are hot, stick around. If not, good-bye.
32 people are quickly narrowed down to only sixteen, eight men and eight women. The remaining contestants then got a chance to model their bodies in bathing suits.
The judges scored them in three areas: face, body and sex appeal. Some contestants were given meager scores of 6.5’s while others were given 9.5’s and 10.0’s.
At first I did not recognize any of the judges but as the show wore on, one judge began to look familiar.
Lorenzo Lamas, remember him? He played Tom Chisum, Sandy’s jock boyfriend, in the musical Grease. Now Lamas has tattoos and a shaggy hair cut. He is probably trying to lose the pretty boy image of Tom.
I still have no idea who the other two judges are, even after looking them up online.
All in all, the show was pretty predictable. The judges were pretty much in unison or close to it on the points awarded. The audience was free to cheer or boo as they wanted, but the judges seemed pretty much uninfluenced.
It was amusing to see the range in ages and professions of the contestants. Some of them were 18-year-old high school students and others were 32-year-old firefighters. Apparently if your ego is big enough it doesn’t matter how old you are, you just have to show off.
The judges were giving low marks for everything from “too much muscle” to “one of your boobs is bigger than the other.”
But the worst was when all three judges cut down one girl because her thighs were too big. Ouch! And the judges also flunked one guy because his jaw was too angular. Like it’s his fault he was born with defined bones.
Anyway, it was great to finally watch a show where you knew what you were getting. There is no question that this show is on a hunt for the most vain Americans.
It’s great to see that even in a time of war our egos are thriving. As long as we thing we’re hot, we can survive anything.
Right, whatever. Can you hear the sarcasm here?